[Swimming Bird]

I personally believe that it would look suspicious for the representative to say that something happened to the item and then directly after you just say, “well, don’t re-ship me the item, just give me the money back” on this item that was desired so eagerly.

It's not "what" you say, but "how" you say It. The above demonstrates signs of desperation.

Simply say you won't be around to accept the replacement Item, hence would appreciate a refund.
Excuses you can use Include (but not limited to):

• Away for a few weeks due to work commitments.
  
• Call for jury duty and required to remain Isolated as Instructed by the courts.
  
• In the process of moving house, thus cannot commit to a scheduled delivery time & day. 
  
• Booked In for surgery as an Inpatient.
  

There are countless reasons you can use.

I'd recommend options that have more plausible deniability in case you're ever caught. Not that you would be, but some of these options would have documentation associated with them.