[Checkpoint]

"This is so absurd, why does this keep happening??? I tried to remove the battery already and I haven't tried to dissemble the laptop since my initial email but it's clear that it's gotten worse. While I was disassembling the laptop and trying to remove the battery, there were two screws at the bottom of the battery that weren't coming out, no matter how hard I tried. The swelling of the battery probably lodged the screw in weird or morphed the screw socket. I don't want to force it out because I might accidentally puncture the battery and have some sort of accident. I don't think I can ship the laptop without the battery... I will try to ask another carrier if they can ship it without telling them about the damage. " This was the email I've drafted up, it doesn't seem like he's gonna budge on his stance on having the laptop first. If the next email confirms that he won't send out a replacement, I will say that USPS is willing to take it, damaged and all, but they won't provide a tracking number or something.

If the next email confirms that he won't send out a replacement

You still have a number of options available, so wait for their reply and we'll take It from there.

So the rep hasn't responded yet, how should I respond? "I was able to visit the FedEx, UPS, and USPS near me again but they recognized me and the laptop and still denied me. I tried going to one further out than the others and everything was going well until they noticed the battery. I never mentioned that it was broken or hazardous but the manager came over and asked why it was like that, I said I don't know so I'm sending it in for repairs. He denied me because something similar happened to him and he didn't want to ship a hazardous item." Should I go with this?

I would say don't give unnecessary details, keep it simple, maybe like this could be too suspicious.
Just my thought, I don't have actual experience in this.