[pxl_rip]

Alright, I am going to go with Amazon. Best way to approach this? EB or simply battery leak ("my brother's currently dying in hospital and it's all your fault")?

I would not put in that terms. some years ago I tried to se a camera lens with the excuse of shattered lens and consequently blood and scars. They requested an hospital certificat. I don't know if the procedure is the same nowadays but I ended up returning it legit.