[botts]

I'm not proud of much, I don't feel like a good/kind/achieved person at all.
But I remember feeling proud of myself at age 16.
My parents were separated and I was living with my dad, it was about a 4 hour drive from his house to my mom's.
-Stayed with my mum for a weekend to visit her.

-Came back home to my dad, as I open the door I see 3 other men who I don't know, and my dad- with a needle in his arm. Drugs.

-Me coming home wakes up the 3 men who were asleep. They shove me into the wall and tell me to shut up. One man ensures I don't move whilst the other 2 men start browsing the house for stuff to steal. They steal my dad's PC, my laptop, my monitor, my watch and my dad's wallet (which because he was into drugs, he had a lot of cash in) along with a few more items, anything worth any money.

-They leave.

-My dad is pretty much unresponsive. He could acknowledge that I was trying to ask him if I should call the police, but he said leave me, I'm fine.

-I go to all my 3 good friends' houses, and ask them to come over to my house, tell them it's an emergency. By the time I get back, my dad is somewhat responsive. He sees them coming though the door and tells them to fuck off (probably scared they will see the drugs and tell authorities/police. I tell them thanks anyway but he seems ok, they go back home.

-My dad absolutely screams at me. I was sat there crying, he was screaming so loud that my dog comes over to me. My dad stands up, grabs my dog and proceeds to kick her to death in front of me. Kicking her and holding her in place until she was nearly dead, then sat down for a few minutes. She died, likely of internal bleeding.

-I grab a knife and walk to the door. I specifically remember him pretending that I was being overdramatic.

-I go to my friend's house. I had my GCSE Exams the next day so I knew I needed to stay in town for at least another week.

-Completed exams, and got A* in 4 subjects and A in the other two, massively unexpected result especially the day after everything that just happened.
My head was spinning, I was in such shock I could barely concentrate. I'm not sure how I did it, but it's definitely the biggest achievement of my life. And I never told anyone what happened since. I knew I'd just lost my dog, my friends (because I knew I'd have to move away) and my stuff.
A few months later my dad tried to commit suicide, but failed in doing so. Not sure what he's upto now, don't really care.