[Dyme]

Hey everyone my name is dyme and in the name of harm reduction I would like to advise all of you against using xanax. Today I will share with you my personal story in hopes to deter any of you from trying/abuses benzodiazepines.

My story begins in November of 2015, a few weeks before thanksgiving. At this point in my life I was smoking weed everyday and using acid once a week. I had tried other drugs like amphetamine (which im prescribed but dont take because I dont like it) and MDMA, but was only using weed and acid on a consistent basis. So one day im tripping in my room looking around on Datpiff for some new fire mixtape to listen to and I come across "Luv is Rage" by lil uzi vert. I listened to the shit and was like "god damn this is fucking fire" and instantly became a lil uzi fan girl. In uzi's songs he would often mention xans and how much fun he was having on them, so I began to become curious about the drug. Before this I had only heard bad things about xans, such as in Earl's song grief when he says "scrambling for Xanax out the canister to pop" and talks about his addiction. But against my better judgement, and listening to more rappers talk about xans, I finally decided to buy a few off the darknet and see what they were all about.

As a person with a lot of anxiety and stress, I fell in love with xans instantly. The best way I can describe it is "Alcohol in a pill", however it does have a much more prominent sedating effect compared to alcohol. 2mg would have me stumbling around and slurring my words, not really giving a fuck what anyone had to say. At first I did a good job trying to moderate my usage, only allowing myself to take one full bar every week (4mg bc they were double dosed). This however, didn't last long, as I found myself taking xans every night before I went to bed. Why it escalated to this I cannot tell you, but I just felt the need to feel the calm relaxing effect it had on my body as I fell asleep. This went on for a good few months or so, of me taking xans every night before bed.

Then in the middle of march, shit got progressively worse. I found myself taking xans multiple times a day, before and during school. I started off with relatively low doses, but like everything shit escalated to a point where I could no longer control myself. The problem with xanax is that it makes you less aware of yourself and how intoxicated you are, unlike the other drugs I had been abusing up until then. This would often put me in a situation where I would take more xanax while already intoxicated by the drug because I didn't realize how fucked up I actually was. Unlike weed, acid, molly, etc, xanax turned me into a zombie in which half the time I wasn't even aware of what I was doing.

It was at this time that I hit my breaking point. One school day in particular, I decided to take 3mg before school, which is more than the 1mg I had normally been taking. 2nd period I had English class in which we were having a debate. Now I remember little of this, as xanax completely zaps your memory at higher doses. From what my friend tells me however, I was beyond horrifying. I came into the room stumbling around, knocking myself into desks, and slurring like a bitch while everyone in the class was listening to me ramble about whatever the fuck we were talking about. I was lucky my teacher didn't report me to administration as my friend said I was clearly intoxicated. After English ended I had a free period in which I, being the complete BARTARD I was, decided to take another half bar. I would have never made this decision sober/high/tripping, as only xans would make me do such a stupid fucking thing.

Later that day I had Physics for a double lab (class that lasts 2 periods). I remember walking into to class and seeing we had a sub, so I put my backpack down at my seat and asked to use the bathroom. I went to the bathroom, sat on the toilet, and passed the fuck out. With my pants down and everything. I pray that the door was closed to the stall was closed because holy shit I must have looked pathetic. I remember waking up to the bell that indicates the period is over/beginning, so I rushed back to the classroom to find that everyone had left. I then realized that I had been passed out on the toliet for a full two periods (over 1.5 hours). The sub looked at me strange but said nothing as I took my backpack and left. Once again I am grateful that I wasn't reported to administration. I then went to my last period of the day - health, in which things went similarly. I was slurring my words, passing out, and at the end of class my teacher asked me if I was "feeling ok".

This day, along with a few other incidents outside of school, made me make the decision to stop myself before things got even worse. I flushed the rest of my xans down the toilet, and began the withdrawal process.

Withdrawals from benzodiazepines are not fun. If there is any reason you don't get into xans, this should be it. Quitting xanax was the hardest thing I have ever done in my life, and if I could go back in time I would have never started doing them to being with because of this. I would profusely sweat, have panic attacks, and be unable to sleep. I was someone who never ever had trouble sleeping... and holy fuck did I miss being able to sleep. I think I'm lucky as I was only using xans regularly for a few months, so I did not experience all the withdrawal symptoms that a more long term user would. Luckily, with the support of my girlfriend and family, and I was able to quit and haven't taken any since march. You can visit the following wikipedia page to view the laundry list of shit that may happen to you while withdrawing: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Benzodiaze...l_syndrome

So - while I enjoy using drugs, I HIGHLY advise all of you to stay far away from xanax and other benzos, particularly if you have an addictive personality.

inb4"cool story bro"
inb4"wow u do drugs ur cool congrats"

Stfu I'm not telling this story to seem cool. There is nothing cool about passing out on the fucking school toilet. I simply regret ever getting into them, so I'm hoping to prevent others from making the same mistake I did. I feel like if we are going to have a drug related section, at least a portion of it should be centered around harm reduction.

tl;dr - Don't do xanax/benzos. They are highly addictive and withdrawals are a bitch. Stick to smoking weed.

[Skryptec]

Can I ask how old you are and if your parents know about you using drugs?

[pvnk]

tldr version please

i get the feeling it's to NOT do xanax.

[insidious]

There's a reason I stay away from anything other than psychedelics, and stories like this are it. Thanks for sharing your experience.

It's great you're back on your feet man, I wish you the best of luck in the future

[Oni]

tldr version please

i get the feeling it's to NOT do xanax.

Basically that.

[Jiggly]

Sorry you had such a rough time, but glad you shared this. I'm not someone who would start xans anyway but it's not a bad thing to know about it. I didn't know a single thing about them before reading this.

[Dyme]

Can I ask how old you are and if your parents know about you using drugs?

I am 18 years old and my parents are aware of my drug use. They used to only know about me using weed but a couple months ago they learned about everything else. They of course were not happy.

There's a reason I stay away from anything other than psychedelics, and stories like this are it. Thanks for sharing your experience.

It's great you're back on your feet man, I wish you the best of luck in the future

Exactly... thanks for your kind words man.

tldr version please

i get the feeling it's to NOT do xanax.

Basically that.

I included a tldr... maybe I should have put it at the top?:

tl;dr - Don't do xanax/benzos. They are highly addictive and withdrawals are a bitch. Stick to smoking weed.

Sorry you had such a rough time, but glad you shared this. I'm not someone who would start xans anyway but it's not a bad thing to know about it. I didn't know a single thing about them before reading this.

I'm glad you learned something, and thank you jiggly.

[Customer]

Dyme is a gud gai, and I know that HE knows that deep down.

Overcoming shit like this is hard. I wish you best of luck my man.

[Losi]

3 mg?! Jesus. I'm a casual microdoser from time to time. Just to take the edge off of shit. I'm really impressed in your cold turkey approach. Respect.

[Blue]

You told me to check out your post so I did, sorry I wasn't able to read it sooner was a nice read and thanks for sharing the experience, and fuck yes luv is rage is a bumping ass mixtape, his newest one, not that great.
But still an Uzi fan.

"half the time I wasn't even aware of what I was doing."

This right here is true af, I'll give you a little story ab the time I smacked my friends car while going in reverse from their point of view from what they told me I remember doing it, but I don't remember driving home which was ab 10-15 mins. Anyways, so what they said is I came out around 2am they where all playing beer pong and what not, while I fell asleep inside ab 30-45 mins after snorting a bar. ( typical I know )
But anyways I had to get up at 6:30 or so the next morning so I you know went and told all my homies bye,  gave them the usual handshake and what not. So they said I got in my car and just sat there for a minute, kind of just sitting there so I started up the car and went in reverse and smacked my friends car who was behind me. Me, not thinking  because they weren't there when I had first got there they had parked behind me and I wasn't even thinking. So after I hear the smack I think " I don't remember something being behind me " then I look at my friends and they're all like "o shit" and laughing bc they're all baked and drunk. I get out, check and see if my car is fucked up, I said nah it's straight then literally just got back in my car and left. Didn't say anything else besides " It's good " like wtf.

Anyways, thought you'd enjoy my lil xan story, every other time has been pretty basic chilling smoking, falling asleep.
But I have a similar story to your school story but like say yours was a 10/10 mine was a 4/10, but it was on Oxy 15s. Basically I had just been in a good mood all day and slept.. A LOT,  and would nod off really easy. IT was the day I had taken oxy's throughout the whole day at school, ended up taking about 3 throughout my course of school, ab the time I'd hit my peak, I'd pop another one and keep on climbing. My last block teacher ended up asking me if I was okay, and I just said yeah I'm a bit tired. But later on that day at one of my homies house, I ended up feeling sick and had to go outside and dry heaved till I felt better, then I went inside got me a glass of water, and sat there and smoked with my crew.

ANYWAYS,  I do see where you're coming from I try to limit the amount I have, so I don't have a bulk amount of xans,oxy, anything like that like I try to maybe only buy a handful at a time to maybe last me a month or something along those lines whenever I do you know?
I also have about 3gs of MDMA coming in around 30 pills, which I will be you know, getting rid of. But I'll probably be booted quite a bit in the upcoming weeks.