[Customer]

>Be 18
>Girlfriend's 17
>Been dating for months now
>This guy named Joe comes out of fucking nowhere into my life
>He's my new coworker at my company
>Find out he has no money, no place of residence
>Moved here for the job and can no longer afford his hotel
>decide to open up to him
>Keep him in my apartment for weeks
>Bro is pretty cool
>We play the vidya, drink beers, watch football
>This continues for fucking months
>Afterwards, find out girlfriend is pregnant
>By all tradition, I have to marry her now
>One night, eating out at dinner
>I pop the question to my wife
>She admits the baby isn't mine, and she was raped by Joe
>She isn't ready to make a commitment after being violated
>Go home in a fucking rage
>Feels like a trance
>Throw out all Joe's shit
>Gonna fucking kill Joe when he gets home
>Joe gets home about 1am
>As soon as he opens the door I fucking punch him in his bastard face
>Eye swells up like a ball of cotton
>He swings at me
>Dodge and sweep his leg
>He falls down
>In a giant murderous rage right now
>Go to fucking room, grab my handgun out of my drawer
>Go back to confront Joe
>Joe jumps in his car and speeds off into the distance
>I haven't seen or heard from him since
>On the phone a month later with my brother
>He finally asks why I've been so depressed
>I tell him if it hadn't been for cotton-eye Joe
>I'd been married a long time ago
>Where did he come from where did you go-
>Where did you come from Cotton-Eye Joe?

>moldycopypasta.jpeg

I lol'd, even though I've read it before.