Get free ClifBars 06-19-2014, 09:24 PM
#1
(1) go here(original only)
http://www.clifbar.com/food/products_clif_bar/
Pick a flavor(original clif bars only, don't fuck this up)
(2)
Once you have picked a flavor stroll on over to the skid form.
http://www.clifbarstore.com/cc_contactus.asp
Use real information(it's a $15 item, don't be an idiot. They don't care)
Don't give them a phone number, if you do, use Google voice.
Now tell them something like this.(if you copy and paste I'll dox you like the faggot you are.)
"Hello, my name is [insertyourfuckingnamehere] Recently I purchased a box of [insert the product link to your preferred fucking flavor] and they were really sour(or salty, I don't give a fuck) I tried a few bars and they were the same, I ended up throwing the whole box out. I'm extremely disappointed, I've eaten your product for months now and this has never happened before. Have you change your ingredients?"
(2) Send the email.
Now wait for them to email you this shit.
"Hi Kitty,
Thank you for taking the time to contact us about the unusually bitter tasting CLIF Bars you recently purchased. I apologize for your unpleasant experience and inconvenience. Although I can assure you that we maintain the strictest in quality standards when it comes to the ingredients that go into our bars, we understand that sometimes things don’t go so perfectly and unfortunately this happened to you.
I would like to assure you that the bars, while foul tasting, are not toxic and don’t cause food borne illnesses.
I am sorry to hear that you got a few bars that were not up to our normal standards. We appreciate consumer comments. Emails like yours help us maintain the quality of our products. I have logged your comments for Clif Bar & Company’s Quality Assurance Manager to review.
I would like to send you some replacement of CLIF Bars. You can expect these in 2-3 weeks."
Now wait until you get your ClifBars and a fucking key chain because the factory workers give out swag.
That's pretty much it, it's that easy.
As long as you don't give them a phone number it should only take two emails.
http://www.clifbar.com/food/products_clif_bar/
Pick a flavor(original clif bars only, don't fuck this up)
(2)
Once you have picked a flavor stroll on over to the skid form.
http://www.clifbarstore.com/cc_contactus.asp
Use real information(it's a $15 item, don't be an idiot. They don't care)
Don't give them a phone number, if you do, use Google voice.
Now tell them something like this.(if you copy and paste I'll dox you like the faggot you are.)
"Hello, my name is [insertyourfuckingnamehere] Recently I purchased a box of [insert the product link to your preferred fucking flavor] and they were really sour(or salty, I don't give a fuck) I tried a few bars and they were the same, I ended up throwing the whole box out. I'm extremely disappointed, I've eaten your product for months now and this has never happened before. Have you change your ingredients?"
(2) Send the email.
Now wait for them to email you this shit.
"Hi Kitty,
Thank you for taking the time to contact us about the unusually bitter tasting CLIF Bars you recently purchased. I apologize for your unpleasant experience and inconvenience. Although I can assure you that we maintain the strictest in quality standards when it comes to the ingredients that go into our bars, we understand that sometimes things don’t go so perfectly and unfortunately this happened to you.
I would like to assure you that the bars, while foul tasting, are not toxic and don’t cause food borne illnesses.
I am sorry to hear that you got a few bars that were not up to our normal standards. We appreciate consumer comments. Emails like yours help us maintain the quality of our products. I have logged your comments for Clif Bar & Company’s Quality Assurance Manager to review.
I would like to send you some replacement of CLIF Bars. You can expect these in 2-3 weeks."
Now wait until you get your ClifBars and a fucking key chain because the factory workers give out swag.
That's pretty much it, it's that easy.
As long as you don't give them a phone number it should only take two emails.
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